Diabetes,

I wish I could send you back to wherever it is you came from, but I guess this is just part of God’s plan. Why blend in if you were born to be extraordinary?!

It’s been a long road, you and me. You haven’t made it easy. And for all rebellious stuff I did when I was still a teenager just trying to figure this all out, I’m sorry – and also grateful that I still get to wake up on this side of the dirt after all this time.

I’ve always aspired to do great things with the gifts I’ve been given, but you introduced an underlying fear of my future being taken away (or made complicated by disability). I figured “I’m here for a good time, not a long time.” That’s the silent “CNN ticker” I’ve always had running in the back of my mind – a deep and profound grasp of my own mortality. How long do I have until the jig is up, or am I going to be one of the lucky ones who gets to live a long and healthy life? With cancer treatment thrown into the mix too, that would have been enough - but you made all of the hard things even harder. Bloody hell.

Keeping you in line has not been easy. And even with all the best technology, it still isn’t. But what I know for sure is that I’m made of tough stuff. I try and replace the function of a pancreas every day which is not just hard, it’s pretty damn heroic! And exhausting.

You taught me about the importance of mental health. It took a major episode of burnout to get me there, and I wish I had known sooner that it’s OK to ask for help sometimes. I don’t have to be the brave & amazing & resilient beacon of positivity all the time. We all carry different burdens – that’s just part of being human. Going through what you’ve put me through gives me greater understanding of how we can help others. Not just with technology, but making people feel SEEN and UNDERSTOOD, and letting them know we’re here for the whole journey – the good, the bad, and the ugly. And we get it.

I don’t think I ever imagined I’d be working in the diabetes field, but here we are. I get to use my voice as a force for good to offer hope and inspiration – and that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. So I guess I should also say “thank you”.

Thanks to you, I have the most incredible community of pancreatically challenged pals who feel like family, and soul brothers and soul sisters around the globe whom I love with my whole heart. I’ve had the great fortune of helping guide and encourage many children with diabetes during some of the most important years of their lives, and seeing those same kids grow up into thriving adults has been one of the greatest joys in my life.

It’s been a long road, and as much as I didn’t want you along for the ride – I guess at the end of the day what I really feel is… PROUD. I’m still here.

Sandy ❤️

#LifeisforLiving

37 years living with type 1 diabetes and still going strong!