Hello, old friend.

How long has it been? Twenty-one years. Twenty-one years, and you haven’t changed a bit.

It’s funny how often we talk. Every few minutes, honestly. Staring at my phone to see where my glucose is. Reaching for my pump to bolus because I’m about to eat something with 17 carbs. Those are just a couple of the hundreds of little decisions I make every week. Most people never notice them. But they add up to a real relationship, because that’s what diabetes is. It’s an ongoing conversation between your body, your mind, and your devices.

Some days we actually get along, like we’re on the same team. Other days you’re off on a solo mission, and it doesn’t matter how careful I am. You’re going to do what you’re going to do. In a lot of ways, that’s what family is like. You rely on each other, you push each other, and you know they’ll always be there. So even when you’re fighting, you trust the rug isn’t going to get pulled out from under you.

When we first met, your unpredictability threw me. I’d built my whole life around this unrealistic structure and belief that I was in control. You took that apart over the years, bit by bit. Part of me is grateful I learned that lesson. Part of me resents you for it. Full stop. There are days I wonder what life would feel like without you.

And then it happens.

Community.

I always struggled to feel like I belonged anywhere. At school, I felt misunderstood. In most circles, for that matter. Through my childhood and youth, that was the theme. It wasn’t until I started talking openly about life with type 1, and meeting other people who were living it too, that I finally felt like I belonged somewhere.

I never wanted to be a victim, or to come across like one. I share my story for the 13-year-old who just got diagnosed and is lying in a hospital bed, scared to death. I want them to be able to look up and see someone out there living their dreams while managing all of this, every single day.

So thank you, old friend, for the lessons I never asked for. I’m going to keep sharing my story and telling the truth, so someone out there feels a little less alone.

-Nick