To Diabetes,

10 Things I Hate About You

I hate the 3 a.m. alarm that drags me out of sleep,
and the sensor that goes off the second I start to dream,

I hate doing math for a slice of birthday cake,
and the way the same lunch gives me a different number every day,

I hate the low that shows up mid-practice,
when my legs go heavy and my head goes foggy

I hate the adhesive that gives me the worst tan lines
and the pump that decides to die in the middle of a class,

I hate the low blood sugar shaky hands, the cold sweat, the rebound highs
and the way I’m still hungry after I’ve already eaten,

I hate it when a stranger asks, “Should you be eating that?”

I hate refills that are needed “too early”
and the fact that staying alive comes with a co-pay,

I hate being the one who counts, who checks, who carries the bag,
who never gets a day off, not even on my birthday.

I hate that I can do everything my teammates do,
plus a hundred things they never have to think about,

But mostly I hate how well I know this disease now,
how brave I turned out to be,
and how much that I’m proud of all of it.

Raegan