Diabetes,

Thank you for everything you continue to teach me every day, even though you haven't been very nice to me lately.

After 15 years of living with you, I really thought I knew you. I thought I knew my body, what to expect, what to do when things went wrong, and how to handle pretty much anything you could throw at me. But this summer, you humbled me.

After experiencing severe lows and then ending up in the hospital, I suddenly felt like I knew nothing about diabetes again. It was scary, frustrating, and honestly, it made me angry. How could something I've lived with for so long still make me feel so vulnerable?

But I guess that's another thing you've taught me: there is always something new to learn.

You've also taught me that having diabetes doesn't mean I have to stop living the life I want. When I was diagnosed in 2011, one of my biggest dreams was to study dance. I did that. I earned my degree in Theatre Arts in Dance and even had the opportunity to dance professionally. I've traveled, gone to concerts, worked, danced, created, and done so many things that a younger version of me might have wondered if diabetes would allow me to do.

And yes, sometimes you've made those things harder.

There have been trips where I've needed to stop, recover, or completely change the plan because my body needed something different. I'm incredibly lucky to have parents who have never made me feel guilty for that. On a recent trip to Las Vegas, after a concert, a lot of walking, and the summer heat, I was exhausted the next day. They didn't care about changing our plans or missing out on something. They just wanted me to rest and feel better. That kind of patience and support has meant more to me throughout these 15 years than I could ever explain.

I've also found a community of people who understand the things that are sometimes impossible to explain to someone who doesn't live with diabetes. Being part of the Dexcom Warrior community has reminded me that even though diabetes can sometimes feel incredibly lonely, I'm not doing this alone.

If I could talk to the girl who was diagnosed in April 2011, I would tell her that diabetes is going to become part of her life, but it is not going to become her entire life. It's something extra she will have to carry. It will require more planning, more patience, and a lot more awareness of her own body, but it will never be a reason she can't go after the things she wants.

I wish I could say that after 15 years, you don't frustrate me anymore. You do. Sometimes I am tired of thinking about you. Sometimes I wish I could have just one day where you weren't somewhere in the back of my mind. And after this summer, I'm still a little angry with you.

But I'm also grateful for the patience you've taught me, for how well you've made me learn about my own body, and for the people and community you've brought into my life.

I still wish I didn't have you.

But I'm really proud of the person I've become while carrying you.

Love (even when I don't really like you),

Mayra